Dorabie's World

2002 was the year that we met. He was the first guy that taught me about music, football and punk culture.

We met at a TV shoot for the Kancil Award intro Video. The first time we met, we had some kind of connection simply because he grew up in Singapore. We chat and chat and chat from 6am till the next morning 4am…

It was all mutual and we like each other. The very next day, he left and flew to Shanghai.

And then he came back to Singapore about a week or 2 later and I decided to drive over to meet him there. It was then we realized that we actually like each other very much. And couldn’t stop talking and sharing our thoughts. After that encounter, there was just a series of endless phone calls and email. He was very lonely in Shanghai and was in total culture shock. He couldn’t speak mandarin very well either. I decided to pay him a visit. In fact, I was one of the few that first to visit him there. I made him a home to stay and even cooked his meal. Bought a couple of stuff in order to make it more like a home for him. I even thought of staying there for good. But he realized that he didn’t want to take our friendship to the next level and so I left Shanghai with a broken heart.

For years, this friend has influenced me so much. From Music choice to football team to even the food that I am eating today, everything was under the good influence of him. I must acknowledge that every shit he recommended was really good stuff and I still love them today. From U2, Blur, Radiohead …you name it, I love them all.. Over the years our friendship was purely platonic. He will make a point to meet me every trip back to KL and get me all the good stuff from Shanghai simply because he was grateful that I had helped him along the way with all the advices. He had relationship after another relationship but he still kept our friendship. When I was down, he was one of those few that I feel like calling to make myself feel better. I do love him dearly but not in the lustful way. He was and still is my best friend.

Today is his birthday. We don’t talk anymore simply because I couldn’t leave myself at where I am to join him in Shanghai. He was very disappointed. The last message he wrote to me on MSN was an angry one. He said I should have the guts to tell him that I couldn’t make it.

I text him today…I just wished him. For a minute, I was so hungry for the U2’s Achtung Baby Album. I dug out my box of memories and found something that he did for me when we first met. It was where we first got our friendship started.

Here’s my message to him:

“Ooi! (That’s what he usually like to call me), Happy birthday again! I am sorry and I miss you very much, my friend. It hurt me so much that till today when I think about the fact that now you are ignoring me totally. I found this DVD cover that you drew for me. Not the best art piece but definitely the only few that is drawn specially for me from a guy. Truly I must say, when I read that you said I was your best friend, I feel like packing everything and be there for you now at this very moment. But I am so sorry, I can’t. I hope that you can understand and forgive me. It’s your birthday and I wish you happy always. Cheers to our 10 years of friendship and I have never love you any less”