It has been a long while...

Ever since we took over this premise, I have not actively done much for the Gallery. Apart from getting Pepper's works in and done a numbers of drawings myself, I haven't done much at all. A decision was made whether NOW or NEVER. We have spent so much on the renovations and had so many plans for it. Yet I was constantly in my CLOUD 9…daydreaming for sales to happen when I don't even move.

It is honestly painful to see so many works needed to be done and I am not doing anything about it. Day in day out, I have all my tasks piling up…numbers to watch and accounts to follow through. It wasn’t not all lost. But sometimes I feel as if I was running away. I honestly have shouldered a little too much. But these are responsibilities. I just have to face them, be strong and get one thing done at a time.

Finally, a few days ago, I decided to move my workstation to the gallery. I think in order for an art gallery works, I need to actively gather database and contacts. Meet people. Talk to people. Be around and everywhere. My focus for 2015 will be 60% for my Agency work and 40% for my Gallery. I will be around for the agency management; it’s just that I have decided to sit downstairs in order to get connected to the Gallery side. So this shall be it.

I think for a longest time, I have put my focus on different areas. Trying so hard to balance up everything. I decided to give up on relationship for now…the more I want it, I believe the more I won’t have it. So I guess I just have to be cool about it and get busy on other stuff. That's all. Another 1 more day is February…and another few more days I will be 39. This shall be my last year being in my 30s…next year I will be in my 40s. I better make things work. Otherwise, I will be sitting here thinking what have I done? Wasting precious time…and its ticking away

2015

Amazingly 2014 ended like this and here comes 2015...

Often I would conclude my year with a list of achievements that I have accomplished and put a new list of challenges for the new year. Ironically 2014 is one year that I have accomplished most unfortunately I also hate most. 3 aircraft mishaps which once made flying one of the safest modes to travel become the most dangerous now. 2014 has also marked a milestone on a personal level that I drew for 1 sustainability report and 1 calendar. I also managed to finally own an art gallery, a restaurant and finally moved my agency next to the restaurant which seriously brought a lot of conveniences to many. I managed to also eat healthy. Go back onto exercising and successfully shed off 6kg of fats. It was hard work however definitely worth it. I have made running as part of my lifestyle which I am planning to keep for a long time. Most of all, one painful decision I have made was to ditch my ex boyfriend of 5 years and moved on strong. Honestly till now, not a single tear shed. I told myself not to cry over a person like that. I told myself that I deserve someone better. Yes! Someone who admires me and loves me for who I am. Tired of all that chasing...chasing a false hope and silly dream. I have learnt to be strong. Taking good care of my own. Cherished people around me especially my parents. Never shy to tell them how much I love them and obeying them like a 3 years old even though I am now in my late 30s. Appreciate. Grateful. Cherished.

2015, ditched those whom I need to pursue. Ditched people whom I have tried so hard and yet never include me in any of their plan and treated me as a "By The Way!" Ditched shit who tell me I will get hurt eventually if I am with them. Honestly, what is HURT after all hahah...I need to find myself. Love myself more. Guard my heart. I have been a stupid girl and can't be stupid forever. I should be surrounded by people who love me and care for me. No doubt I long to have a companion in life...one who is willing to include me in all his plan. One who shares his thoughts and take me as someone whom he respects and look upon. I am still waiting for that person to come into my life. So 2015, my objective is simple Love myself more and be bloody selfish!...

Getting a new tatt...

Before I left for Bangkok, she said, "Don't break my heart and get a new tattoo of Cat again. You know how much I hated that!" I nodded.

But inside my mind, I was all set to do it. For the longest time, I wanted to have a tattoo for my cat Cheevas (Didi). I think this cat is rather special. Not only he has a bob tail and was once rejected by the supposed owner, Didi's personality is quite introvert. He is not as friendly as Vodka (Kaka). He often hide himself whenever there is stranger in the house. However, Didi would always be the one who follows me everywhere in the house. He would "headbutt"me. And very often put his body next to my hand so that I could tummy rub him. He is quite a 'Manja' cat. So unlike Kaka who is usually more popular among my friends, Didi is only close to certain people and so he is kind of special for me.

I thought about where this tattoo to be placed. Being an owner of an advertising agency, very often i will get to meet corporate client and it is not appropriate to have a tattoo on my arm. But HEY its advertising world and they are dealing with creative people like us. If we can't even express ourselves, what make them think they can entrust you with branding project or anything creative? Hahaha! Ok..thats my verdict. So I did without any consideration about what is going to happen next and how to explain this to my mum who is suffering from Ailurophobia. I have about 7 days to think of a damn good reason before I see her on the 8th. But I do believe that she will eventually accept it and still love me as who I am.

I enjoy having my tattoo process done in Bangkok. I think Thai are naturally creative people. Even though we might have a little language barrier, they understood and picked up what I wanted easily. They are very patience, polite and most important of all they are very gentle. It was a 3 hours process and there wasn't much pain nor blood surprisingly.

I was pretty happy about the finished work. I believe I can wear this for a long time without any regret. Well, we live this life once so why so SERIOUS?

The journey of discovery and recovery begins

Every painting tells a story inside me. My love story has ended but the journey of new discovery has just begin. Someone once mentioned that this is an artistic awakening. Perhaps its a little too late or its never too late, a chapter closed but another art series begin. My painting shall carry on with or without love. My creativity carries on with or without inspiration. This shall be the path which I have chosen and I shall carry on.

Giving Vs Receiving

There is a sudden urge to be an artist. Somehow, I am looking forward to the quiet night to paint. Whether I am inspired or not, there is just something inside me that feel like unleashing the emotions inside me.

Am I grieving about my lost? I don't think so. I may find it hard to get used to this but its not a lost. There is so much to gain in life and its only now that I am beginning to enjoy receiving.

GIVEN too much and so now I am longing to RECEIVE.

My New House

Honestly, I am very reluctant to move. I am so used to staying in Sunway and totally in love with my little house with 3 rooms. But I guess the opportunity came by and I just have to move. It a much bigger house with 5 rooms and a built up space of almost 1800 sq feet. Double storey house right in the heart of PJ old town. It is walking distance to banks, Post office and also Giant Super market. Right opposite this new place is a coffee shop. I guess it totally convenient for my parents if they decided to come over to stay with me. I love the space, i like the convenience but i am not very sure about the noisy and busy surrounding. I guess i just have to try and get used to it. Right now is all the paper work and stuff to be hand over the property. If everything is good and smooth running, i should be able to move in by end of this year. :)

India with Lot of Love

Last March, my company decided to organise a company trip to India. It was like a dream came true. Many of us were into photography and been longing to go to India. Initially we were quite ambitious, we wanted to go to Nepal but somehow we managed to make India, New Delhi, our company trip 2012. It was a 6 days 5 night tour. Everything was DIY...backpacked plus a bit of self tour arrangement with one of our friend, Jay. A beautiful place and most importantly we had great company during trip. Everyone enjoyed ourselves very much. As for next year...well some already was talking about Russia...hahaa. Oh man...well, lets hope for the best and work hard toward our aim next year!